when my mom comes home from the grocery store →
when my mom comes home from the grocery store and didn’t get the food I asked her to get
today in history class my teacher asked what’s the name of the terrorist group that is responsible for 9/11 and the kid she picked to answer said alpaca. alpaca.
I’m weird, okay? But when I say I’m weird, I don’t mean like your cute and quirky girlfriend. I mean fucking weird.
dumbirish: parasailin-sarahpalin: just a friendly reminder that there are 15 and 16 year old Olympians and we’re all here in our rooms running our blogs at least were running
hstyles: the amount of celebrities i would offer my body to without second thought is astounding
sherlielocks: jotunss: unnnie: captaintimber: fayalice: dawnoakley: from zero to internet explorer how ignored do you feel white pencil crayon. Terms and Conditions. Warning label on cookie dough packages. “You must be 18 or older” webpage warnings myspace crocs
i cybered on omegle today
You: wanna cyber
Stranger: Depends are you a girl? ;)
Stranger: And okay then, you start?
You: i come into ur bedroom
You: and ur sleeping
You: and i crawl under your blanket
Stranger: I'm still asleep
You: u feel me pulling down ur pants
You: and u wake up and smile
Stranger: I kiss you gently, still sleepy
You: then i smile and open the scissors around your dick and snap them closed
You: cutting off your penis
You: THATS WHAT YOU GET FOR CHEATING ON ME
Stranger: Then what...?
You: I HATE YOU
Stranger: I didn't cheat
You: you bleed to death in your bed
Stranger: i didn't cheat on you. lets restart ok
You: nobody ever knows what happened
You: i flee to mexico with your Mercedes
You: the end
Stranger: I have a mercedes?
You: not anymore faggot
Your conversation partner has disconnected.
best office moment ever hands down
moment of silence for the women who are competing in the olympics while on their period
whysooseriouss: Three Days Grace-Never Too Late ...
Hey I just met you and this is cra---
people: you have to be more lady like
me: suck my dick
T as in Troy? no gabriella t as in testicles you raging idiot